Freedom

I was awake after 10 hours of sleep and that is something for me since I just got like 4 hours mas of sleep for the past weeks. Then I decided to watch "Something Borrowed". The movie hit me big time. Not so about love, oh well I so love Ethan's character and his dialogue "You are home to me!", I am so darn emotional now! I can relate with Rachel on th emovie. And so I thought, I have never done something in my life out of the blue. It's mostly planned, I don't like it so much when I go for something without calculating the risks. And believe me, I'm so good at advising others to take calculated risks. Then I realized, I want to live a life, yes LIFE. Living a life does not mean you have to squabble with authorities or do something irresponsibly like we see in movies. Being liberated means you enjoy what you want because that is what you really want but doing it responsibly. I just had that notion that freeing yourself is a danger, take note- HAD. Not now, I believe and will try to live a life I want and enjoy it. I am about to jump into another phase of my life, but before i do that I want to free myself. And so I called my friend delight, I asked her to schedule a party with other friends. I have been wanting to do. I should have taken my masters in Psychology last year, and should have been studying culinary this year. Not one happened! C'mon, I cannot even decide if I will push in having my hair straight, for once! That is me. People see me someone with confidence, but I am not. I give in to what others think should be done and what I think they expect of me. It will take a lot of courage, but I will try very hard to do just what I want and do it with gusto. For other, going to clubs is not even a big thing. It is for me cause it's not my thing. I mean, I have been to that place but I cannot stand being there for an hour. It's not like I have to change myself, I just want the experience to understand what it really feels like to loosen up. I need to look good, I need to start doing something for myself. So Starting tomorrow, I will go to office with my make up on and make sure I look and smell seductively great! I want to explore the other side of me, the one I hid because I gave in to social pressures. What happens next? Let's see. I will definitely share it.