Cotton Candy And Jam

I had a 5-day vacation with family and old friends. Although I don't like the sound of describing them as old friends cause it's as if we're not friends any longer. They're friends I met in college. Others and many said that high school life and high school friends are the best phase in life they have. I don't feel the same though. But this blog is not about the friendships I made and making.

This is my first blog, for this site at least, so I want to make this light. I used to tell myself that it's fine if I don't have my own house yet or a car as long as I have seen those places I have dreamed of. And indeed, I was fine with that. I have no regrets at all. But that reunion of friends made me realize that I might have been just chasing pavements. I was more inspired and determined. It could break me one day but I doubt. No dreams are broken as long as you focus and work on it.

So what really made my mind ooze with dreams and inspiration? They call it peer pressure, I call it realizations. They all have their own house now, car and family. I have none of those. Oh no, I am not a loser. I chose this life and the ways I made are the decisions I will stand for. I am just in  a crossroad, beginning to change priorities and dreams. I have not conquered the places, yet I have other aspirations too. And that is, my dream house and own family. The latter could have been easier, but things had to wait for awhile. I cannot blame destiny, I prayed for it. Laughing at myself as I write this- I prayed for patience and to teach me perseverance. This is it! I am tested, and determined to succeed. Lord, please help me do this. :)

So what have I realized? I realized that life is like the sand, it is affected by what's happening around you but you can protect the castle by building rocks around. You can let it lie on the shore or decide to mix it with  the right  materials and make buildings out of it. I was swayed to a different direction, but I would say not the wrong one. Just different. Now, I am trying hard to sail to where I first wanted. To the dreams I have had upon coming here in Cebu.Where's that 2-storey house and a big lawn with garden? Where's that business that have been there in your mind? With all that has happened, I realized it's not too late. The experience of failing was not a failure at all. It was lessons learned, some were hard ones.

The 5 days vacation fueled my emotions and determination to see life through. I am in my mid 30's and that added the pressure. If I were to assess, I was making cotton candy instead of jam. It's not useless, just not so lasting.  I won't end it here. Life rolls on! With God's grace, I know I can do it. So excited for 2012.